nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize