You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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