Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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