Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
