I hate your face
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
