Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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