Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
