Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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