Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
