I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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