the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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