I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning