He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need