somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.