so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.