some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say