Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD