Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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