Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
