there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
