sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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