Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
