He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
