Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
