people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
