Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
