When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize