its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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