She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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