That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
