i jhust puked up my retainher.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
