who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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