my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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