i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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