apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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