i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
