I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
