gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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