I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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