drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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