Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
