there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize