youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
