I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
