He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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