Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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