He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
North Korea, Best Korea!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
