I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
