Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize