let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
