How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
