She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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