at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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