Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize