this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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