You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So many bounce houses so little time
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
