Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
