Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
