I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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