I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
