i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
