his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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