Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
