ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
